IDK

My grandfather passed away yesterday. Full stop. I had to write his obituary quickly after filing some hospitalization papers in the accounting. Full stop. What else can there really be said about that? Full stop.
"FRANCISCO C. TAPALLA
August 14 1914 -- March 25 2007
peacefully joined his Creator and his wife, Asuncion Recio Tapalla, on
March 25 2007, at the age of 92.
Surviving are his children Victorio Tapalla; Virgilio Tapalla and wife, Aileen with granddaughters Bernice and Andrea; Amada Tapalla; Marino Tapalla and wife, Annabelle, with granddaughters Erika, Eribelle, and Ellayka; and Marilou Tapalla.
His body lies in the Lipa Cathedral, Lipa City, Batangas."
***
Today is Ayo's birthday so I totally wish him a good one, and 20/20 vision forever so film editing won't be that much of a bitch. My love to that ex-blondie-now-turned-into-an-aspiring-yogi.***
Went to my first shoot with METRO magazine as an official freelance writer.
.Rumples Estacio:fresh grad/young designer..Girlie Benitez:model/jewelry designer.
.Noelle Hernandez:photographer who was fairly new in her profession too. Thanks to Rumples, Girlie, Noelle, Fashion Ed: Corine Alegre and Assitant Fashion Ed: Andrea de Guzman, and everyone else for being very very very nice and patient with a rookie like me; a pretty emotionally banged up one at that, considering the unfortunate circumstances I'm going through--but of course they didn't know that. Last thing I needed was a bitch of a boss and snotty interviewees and thank God for not letting me encounter those kinds of people today, on my first official job.
Sometimes the world has its way of trafficking things to push you to learn how to live. And I'd like to conclude with what Eddie said on a previous post, "Let fate take its course, and you'll see that everything will be as right as rain." I'll be okay.

And it's a wrap!

Co-actor on a nicotine breakA car scene with cinematographer and director Essa with the earphonesThe scene that took a really long time
Fin

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup...

"You look so sad today."
"Hey! What's the matter? You look so...gloomy."
"Hi, my name is _____, we met before. Anyway, are you ok?"
"There you are! I've been looking for --- did something happen??"
"Tell me the truth Er, what are you thinking?"

Jesus, I feel like I have to wear a smile on my face 24/7 just to reassure people that I'm ok. I feel like I have to say something funny after each sentence so people will think I'm 'myself'. It's not fair that I feel I have to be that constant person everyone uses as a basis for reassurance that not everything is changing. Just because I laugh loud, make unnecessary comments under my breath, or make jokes, doesn't mean I'm an eternal entertainer. Sometimes I want to wear a sad look on my face because I feel sad; so please, let me wear that face once in a while without having to explain myself.
I woke up past my alarm clock and did not have time to drink coffee. And this is important because I cannot function without at least a cup of coffee and I actually can get a wee bit cranky without coffee. In fact, I need my piss to be reeking of coffee beans for me to feel like I've had a sufficient amount of caffeine. Moving on, the meeting with Adidas completely slipped my mind, so I showed up not only late, but wearing Nikes. Fucktard. When I got to the place, I just wanted to kick my shoes out in the fucking grass; and the minute the Adidas people scanned what I was wearing and focused and de-focused and focused on my shoes again, I just wanted to shoot myself. My streak of bad luck however, didn't end there, it actually escalated. I got my F test paper back for history, and while I was running to submit my philosophy synthesis I almost kissed the gravel as my foot got caught in between those ridiculously uneven stepping stones. I come home, only to have more responsibilities (like meetings with my youngest sisters' teachers) dropped my way and a chat session with someone unappreciative of me and suddenly it's like I'm reliving my hellish nightmare of 2006 once again. I know for a fact that I'd be okay if it weren't for that chat session with the one and only EX whom I still love and keep close to my heart dearly, but know deep down that to really love is to let go. I know he doesn't know he doesn't truly love me yet, and I don't know if he will ever see my worth, but I am optimistic that one day we both find that happiness and peace we probably deserve...even if it's not with each other.
Ok. I'm fine, I just needed to see in word format, what made me feel like shit today. Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow will be much better, and tomorrow will be the last day I shoot with actual professional indie filmmakers so maybe I should take pictures of that. I'm am totally craving for fish 'n chips and green tea ice cream for desert.
I am quite excited to watch this film, Across the Universe, which I hope actually does arrive in Manila or at least reaches the people who love to reproduce pirated material.
..."Nothing's gonna change my world," seems to be my broken wish of the day.

She could be me

She's Susanne. She's German. She's indie. She performs topless.
I love that she's a fucking weirdo. I love that she knows it. I love that she doesn't give a fuck and just does whatever the fuck she pleases. I am presently absorbed in her music. Another insanely exceptional person to look up to on this oh-so depressing day.

Grey One x Social

Street wear finally reaches the shores of Manila , Philippines. The much anticipated street wear/ sneaker boutique GREY ONE X SOCIAL opens with fresh collections from Crooks and Castles, 10 deep, 3 Sixteen, Diamond Supply, stacks and bundles, Alife, home room, free gold watch, Grn Appletree, GreyOne Apparel, Creative Recreation, Mishka, with many more exclusives. Grey One's Jerry Meng, together with manila- based entrepreneurs Jon Herrera and his sister Rosario are the minds behind this new concept store.

Already establishing a Grey One X Soul Assassins boutique in Pasadena, Jerry Meng expands the Grey One name to Manila , the first in South East Asia. Jon has already achieved success working as a DJ, marketing consultant, and club- owner of Embassy, while Rosario is one of the top fashion/celebrity stylists in Manila. She also heads her own creative agency, Style Lab (www.stylelabagency.com, www.wildbunchphotography.com)

The Herreras are no strangers to the street wear culture. The duo designed and produced Tru Youth, a lifestyle- clothing line inspired by people who stay young by living their dreams. They also launched their sub- line Unbreakable, a sneaker inspired t-shirt line produced exclusively for Manila.

GREY ONE x SOCIAL opens this April at the Lifestyle area, Rockwell.

Quick Notifications

Thought I'd revamp my blog and ramble about shit while waiting for writer's block to emancipate me. Been surviving on caffeine and 2-3 hours of sleep daily for the past week and it really is unhealthy. My mom thinks I'm a work horse, but the truth is, the university is forcing me to be one. Fine. I guess I always end up procrastinating but this semester has been a bitch, leaving me exhausted like I'm working ten jobs.
At least I had time to visit my grandfather in the hospital, my other grandfather's grave, and chop a few inches off my locks.Even if I'm not much of a fashionista, definitely not updated with the latest gear and apparel since I just wear whatever, once I saw the pegs of Grey One products my friend is importing here, I could not wait to cash out. Makes me want to shit gold coins.Since traveling to places in Manila eat up my time, I've been using that time to keep myself grounded and well-informed on whatever except for local news. Some witty ads I encountered:Love the last one the most.

Check please

The world is one big buffet.
You choose what you want, put it on your plate, chew it, savour it, then swallow. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it's really good. Sometimes you want more of the same thing and regret not trying the others, or feel sad when the silver platters are wiped clean and what you want isn't offered anymore. Well now, I'm at that point where I think I put too much food on my plate in high hopes of filling my emptiness, only realizing now it wasn't my stomach that was empty, but my heart.
Now what am I going to do with all this food when I don't even know what I really want on my plate? I guess I could throw it, then get a new plate. Or I could just eat it and then get a new plate. Or I could just eat what I can then throw the rest away. Ah I don't know. There are way too many people starving for food as good as mine for me to just dump it in the canister.
It's so much easier when you're a kid. You eat anything your parents or helpers give you, and actually love it. There are times you don't even have a say, so you just eat whatever is on the table. Then you start eating things that are bad for you, then you learn the difference of healthy food and unhealthy food. Then you get fat. Then you lose weight. Then you complain. Then you regret. Then you want to turn back time and wish you were a kid again. It's a vicious cycle.
If only we could stop eating and stop being slaves to the grumbling of our stomachs then maybe just maybe, we could breathe and find out what it is we're really craving for.

Step-by-Step

Silver Lens Gallery -- the space going to be utilized for 'Waiting for the Skies to Fail' show.Inside the curators' office -- such an amazing experience of being surrounded by stashed art and art books; it sent chills down my spine.Current Exhibit of JJ Villamarin, 'Home is where the Art is', had this cluttered disorganized feel, which perhaps could be paralleled with her notion of 'home', however I felt as though I was entering her studio and not her exhibit. There were way too many pieces to appreciate.She even had room for visitors to make their own collage, which was a cool idea --but again, a little too much.
300. 300. 300. Raised the bar for graphic and visual arts, fight choreography, and special effects. Tyler Bates' music fit perfectly. O.M.G. That has got to be the best movie I have seen in a fucking long time.
I'm not very fond of rap and r&b so obviously, I don't know their songs, moreso the artists but geez, even a nut like me knows who fucking CHRIS BROWN IS. C'mon. And guess what he's pimping in in VH1, TRU YOUTH!!!(Check my links if you want to order and or drop a message)
Before I spend the rest of the day doing this, I gotta sign out.

Brief updates

Going to be working closely with internationally acclaimed Filipino artist Yason Banal in his new artwork entitled, "Waiting for the Skies to Fail". Yason is planning to shoot his exhibit in Manila this March for Tokyo and Shanghai shows. Come July, a live exhibit with people made to be interpreted as objects will be held in Manila.
"Banal's works combine seemingly distant belief systems and symbologies – art, folklore, science, history and cosmogony, as well as music and film genres and subcultures - to trigger suppressed associations and links. The artist speaks of trying to initiate 'constellations' through the different elements in his work - referring at once to heavenly bodies, but also to their relationships with events unfolding on earth, sometimes benign, but often catastrophic and utopian."--- Roger McDonald, Curator for the Singapore Biennale.

Some installations--
In Tokyo, Japan:
In Oslo, Norway:
In London, UK

Was interviewed by Managing Editor of Lifestyle Asia Magazine and was accepted as an intern (yay). I'll be starting soon, and feeling my way through the magazine environment and working my way up the high profile publication.

THIS SHIT IS NOW SHOWING. Fuck. I've been waiting for this so it better be fucking awesome.
Life will be exciting and busy; i can't wait.

A dose of motivation

I want to do so much but I gotta stay focused and keep my eyes on my vision. School is burning me out, and right now it's actually a hindrance so I started surfing the net at my dad's office, trying to look for something, anything to inspire me. And I found this.

David Ellis' Conversation is enthralling. Aiming to make the rhythm in his head heard, he incorporated beats directly into his work. Just when I thought I should only focus on one thing, here comes Ellis proving that anything can happen. Not just the typical anything -- I'm talking about the integration of passions, the art of mastering multi-tasking, the careful piecing of every element of your Self and your unique experiences into a masterpiece so fresh it's often times initially misunderstood.

As Heidegger implicates, an authentic human person lives his life towards death instead of away from it like most people. An authentic person not only acknowledges that death happens, but lives his days as though it were his last. I thought, 'fuck that's tiring.' Imagine doing everything you wanted to do in your whole life right this minute because the next second you might just drop dead. It's fucking crazy. But it's that craziness that makes people stand out and die fulfilled. It's the notion of pushing yourself so hard you want to cry, pushing things so far that years later it's considered genius, you're considered god.

You want something, go get it, fight for it if you have to because shit won't just fall from the sky. You want to do something, don't half ass it, overdo it if you have to because half-assed work equates to nothing. Think think think! Don't try to be like everyone else who tries so hard to be different. Dis-cover yourself and place it in the context of your life and the world. Live out your wildest dreams NOW...time is ticking.